I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
