i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
