yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
this is an emotional support booty call
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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