im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
