I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
