I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
