so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's blow job season.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
