My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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