Non-Jews are for practice
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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