i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
