So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize