i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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