remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
