There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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