loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she smelled like a LAN party
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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