Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
