I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize