Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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