i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
