it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
