she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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