i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
