arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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