Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
