so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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