How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
