3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize