Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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