he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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