he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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