i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
