i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
