I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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