fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
