so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
