this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
