found the other keg... it's in the tree
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
