He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
