Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
