You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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