Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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