I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
