After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
