I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dick very happy bro
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
