Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
