are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
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She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
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If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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