Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize