I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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