summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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