Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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