If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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