The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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