My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I cannot find my penis.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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