just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
