There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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