You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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