Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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