There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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