He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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