Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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