Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
